Updated: Apr 7, 2021
Are you struggling with a borderline personality disorder? Or looking for daily life BPD self-help tips? Welcome on board! I’ve been living with symptoms of BPD since my early childhood. And from what I’ve learned, it’s important to consult a therapist in most cases but what’s more important is to bring some healthy changes in your daily routine - in other words, to start taking care of yourself. The biggest healing happens in between therapy sessions, but it's on you to take action and take your life back.
BPD self-help tips for daily life
I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 18 and after going through the toughest times from 15 to 19, I have been able to make myself several folds stronger over time. How? By taking out time for myself, by loving every bit of myself, and by teaching myself the importance of having a healthy and positive mind. All of this became possible by following some of the valuable BPD self-help tips I’ve given below. If you want you can follow them in conjunction with professional aid as well.
We can't control what happens to us. It's not our fault, but it's our responsibility to find a way to recover, heal, and maybe even grow from our pain.
Educate yourself about your disorder and detach. First and foremost, educate yourself. Find reliable and authentic sources to understand what BPD is. It has been found through evidence that chances of reducing BPD symptoms increase by merely educating yourself about it. However, when you do your research try to use it as a tool to detach from your symptoms and destructive behaviors, rather than identify yourself with it. Yes, it's great when you finally know what's "wrong" with you (nothing has ever been wrong with you), but it easily happens that we say things such as "I am BPD", "I am Borderline", "I do this because of my borderline personality disorder". The second you make something a "my" or "mine" it becomes part of your identity. Hence if you would lose BPD you would lose part of your identity, which makes it hard to recover. Use your research to detach instead, not attach.
Do what you love, follow your passions. Ask yourself what is it that makes you happy or feel at peace? If it is writing, reading, painting, cooking, watching a movie, or any other activity then just do it. A daily dose of self-love is what you should start with. When we do what we love and follow our hearts, we naturally get that little spark in our eyes and that little fire in our hearts. We naturally get happier, brighter, and more compassionate. We are naturally distracted from our pain and focus on a more positive side of life. If you want to be happier, do something you love. If you haven't found that something yet it's time to start experimenting.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle, one day at a time. A healthy lifestyle is one of the most important BPD self-help tips because a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Eat a balanced diet, have enough hours of sleep, take a walk in nature, exercise, do yoga or meditate, and maintain good hygiene daily. I know..I know. So much easier said than done when you can't even get out of bed, don't want to eat anything at all, and feel anxious to go outside. Look, whatever you're feeling is okay. There are plenty of methods out there that are very useful to slowly build a healthy foundation. Once you're ready you can start planting that seed and slowly let it grow. Maybe start with making your day every morning after you got up. When you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit and I wish you nothing more than daily healthy habits. One day at a time. Set daily goals for healthier living: When you achieved them, be proud. When you didn't, be patient.
Start managing your life, get a calendar. Instead of staring at the wall and luring away into the darkness, keep yourself busy by managing your everyday life. Sometimes distraction is the way to go. Make a checklist of the things you should be doing. Set your long and short-term goals and start working on them. Tick your checklist every time you have finished a task to get aware of how much you get done in one day! You can write down the things that seem the most trivial to me. Sometimes my checklist can look like this:
And sometimes it looks like this:
Practice positive self-talk, every day. Engage yourself in positive self-talk daily even if your heart disagrees with it. You might not believe the words you saying because your subconscious mind is programmed to only deliver self-destructive and negative thoughts. You might feel silly when you try to convince yourself of anything other than that, but to heal you need to break the self-destructive pattern. And it's time to heal. When your mind is filled with positivity there will be less room left for negative thoughts. Try less of “I made a mistake, I am stupid” or “no one loves me” and more of “mistakes are for lessons and I learned something new today” and “I am learning to love myself”. I totally agree that there is no point in faking positivity. Or being fake in general. I am not telling you to lie to yourself and say "I feel amazing", allow yourself to be authentic and feel whatever you need to feel, but know when to stop to prevent drowning in your own misery. You deserve to love yourself, treat your mind with kind words.
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Express your emotions, start journaling. Expressing releases stress in a magical way for most people and allows you to become more mindful of your current state. People express themselves in different ways, some write journals or blogs, some paint or some simply talk to their close friends. However, in some cases, expressing can cause triggering which means you need to work on your coping skills. Find what feels good and don't overwhelm you with emotions you can't digest. If you're not ready to open a traumatic chapter leave it until you are. You can't recover from a mental illness at high speed. Express your pain, relieve step by step.
Take deep breaths, do the breathwork. When your heart starts to rush and your mind is in several places, sit down if you’re standing or lie down if you are sitting, and while doing so take deep breaths. It will help you take your mind off of the discomforting thoughts. Most of us forgot how to breathe and most of us do permanently do shallow breathing. This is toxic for our minds and body. Try to research breathing techniques and take what you need. There are breathing techniques for all kinds of things for example emotional release. Simple but still ignored: Just keep breathing.
Try guided hypnosis, commit for 21 days. Guided hypnosis or hypnotherapy can help you move on from the past traumatic events that are still affecting you by residing in your subconscious. Hypnotherapy sends you into a trance-like state and helps you to get rid of the painful memories. Book hypnotherapy sessions with your local hypnotherapist or listen to guided self-hypnosis before going to sleep and you’ll see the results. It’s tried and tested. I still do self-hypnosis and I love visiting hypnotherapists to reprogram my subconscious and fill it with kindness and compassion. You can't change your past but you can change how you feel about it.
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All of the above BPD self-help tips can make a huge difference in treating this disorder but it is something that you have to work on every single day. It may not look easy to some people but it guarantees fruitful outcomes. You can take me as an example. My emotions used to be pervasive. I was suicidal and used to harm myself. But today, after all the efforts I’ve put on a daily basis, I am living the life I have always dreamed of, as a model, actor, writer, and dancer.
I'm still struggling but I am starting to get a taste of what happiness feels like.
That's what I want for you.
Let's heal the world with vulnerability and self-love.
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