Two broken lovers

Updated: Sep 17, 2019

The home of lost traumatized souls,

The scene in abandoned places,

From violent fights into violent war,

Where her own blood scorches her own hands,

From these inner wars.

And the two lovers that weren’t meant to love,

That sank into the darkest places between love and hate.

And with their final end ending the mental war.

The dangerous part of their dead-end love,

And the continuation of their parent’s anger.

Which could only end, by their children’s tragedy,

Shows now the two hours book,

Which you may read with patient thoughts.

What is missing here will now be shown in the following lines.


Two star-crossed lovers.


- An appropriation of a master

Photo by photographer Gereon Balzer and Model Kathyinframe

Location Viersen, Nord-Rhein-Westphalen, Germany

Find the original post here:


I AM BORDERLINE


I am lying close to your side and my heart is pounding fast. It feels like it's pounding so hard it might explode. I can feel your breath on my skin and mine goes crazy. How did breathing work again? I can feel myself sweat and my fingers scramble together making a hard fist. I sighed over and over. Man this shit is heavy. I try to calm down, to control my body language, my thoughts, my heartbeat. My thoughts scream: "CALM THE FUCK DOWN" Being this close to you hurts. This my friends is neither erotic nor love it is anger. - This is Borderline.

This is me.


"Borderline personality disorder:

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.


With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.


[...]


Symptoms

Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.

Signs and symptoms may include:

An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection

A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel

Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all

Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship

Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection

Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety

Ongoing feelings of emptiness

Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights


When to see a doctor

If you're aware that you have any of the signs or symptoms above, talk to your doctor or a mental health provider.


If you have suicidal thoughts

If you have fantasies or mental images about hurting yourself or have other suicidal thoughts, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) any time of day. Use that same number and press "1" to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.Reach out to a loved one, close friend, trusted peer or co-worker.Contact someone from your faith community.

If you notice signs or symptoms in a family member or friend, talk to that person about seeing a doctor or mental health provider. But you can't force someone to seek help. If the relationship causes you significant stress, you may find it helpful to see a therapist yourself.


Causes

As with other mental health disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren't fully understood. In addition to environmental factors — such as a history of child abuse or neglect — borderline personality disorder may be linked to:

Genetics. Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited or strongly associated with other mental health disorders among family members.Brain abnormalities. Some research has shown changes in certain areas of the brain involved in emotion regulation, impulsivity and aggression. In addition, certain brain chemicals that help regulate mood, such as serotonin, may not function properly.


Risk factors

Some factors related to personality development can increase the risk of developing borderline personality disorder. These include:

Hereditary predisposition. You may be at a higher risk if a close relative — your mother, father, brother or sister — has the same or a similar disorder.Stressful childhood. Many people with the disorder report being sexually or physically abused or neglected during childhood. Some people have lost or were separated from a parent or close caregiver when they were young or had parents or caregivers with substance misuse or other mental health issues. Others have been exposed to hostile conflict and unstable family relationships.


Complications

Borderline personality disorder can damage many areas of your life. It can negatively affect intimate relationships, jobs, school, social activities and self-image, resulting in:


Repeated job changes or losses Not completing an education Multiple legal issues, such as jail time

Conflict-filled relationships, marital stress or divorce

Self-injury, such as cutting or burning, and frequent hospitalizations Involvement in abusive relationships

Unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, motor vehicle accidents and physical fights due to impulsive and risky behavior

Attempted or completed suicide


In addition, you may have other mental health disorders, such as:


Depression Alcohol or other substance misuse

Anxiety disorders

Eating disorders

Bipolar disorder Post-traumatic stress disorder

(PTSD)Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder

(ADHD)Other personality disorders "


Source: Mayo Clinic




I AM BORDERLINE: Self-Regulation Project *Award winning short film (Possible Trigger) by Wright Institute Los Angeles


"Award winning short film on borderline personality disorder for June 2016, Art With Impact. Writer and Director Betsy Usher Along side with Wright Institute Los Angeles: Self-Regulation Project (http://www.wila.org) created a film to help reduce the stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder. (PossibleTrigger warning****) http://www.wila.org Self-RegulationProject.org #IAMBORDERLINE For inquiries regarding this film please contact: betsy_usher@yahoo.com The title I Am Borderline, is based off of a campaign created By Betsy Usher and Wright Institute Los Angeles. The campaign's goal is to help reduce the stigma of BPD by asking individuals who identify with the BPD diagnosis to post pictures of themselves showing all of the other talents, labels, and thoughts about who they are. (Ex: I am a teacher). Being diagnosed with BPD does not mean that is all you are, it is only a label. Cast: Jeff D'Agostion Amanda Gardner Josh Goldman Danielle Keaton Lucy Walsh Crew: Director & Writer: Betsy Usher Cinematographer: Thom Kuo Editor: Doug Usher Music: Tommy Dill & Lily and the Lion Camera assistant/gaffer/colorist: Jared Pecht Director's Assistant: Dina Goldman Fixer: Brant Anderson Marketing Executive: Michele Gomes In association with Wright Institute Los Angeles www.wila.org www.self-regulationproject.org https://www.facebook.com/SRPatWILA "


A blog written by Katharina Peters

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© 2019 by Katharina Peters German model and actress based in New Zealand