Updated: Mar 30
How to survive quarantine as a couple? Things you can do when you are stuck in Corona virus self isolation and how to prevent breaking up with your boyfriend.
Are you in self isolation with your partner and fear going insane, breaking up or even facing a divorce? This can be a challenging time for all couples out there. People are mass buying and panicking and now even stuck in their own home because of the coronavirus spread. In times full of fear and panic it is important to make your partner become your little fortress, your place of peace instead of pushing each other into worse and worse mindsets. Here are some helpful ideas on what you can do to create a healthy lifestyle with the person you're dating while you’re self isolated.
Communicate and accept
Communication is key to keep a good relationship alive. Communication is next to trust and loyalty, one of the most important things to a great relationship. So if you struggle with communicating your problems, this time in quarantine will be very tough for your and your relationship. And you can read as many “how to survive self isolation with your boyfriend or girlfriend” blogs as you want, but if you don’t follow this first step, if you don’t follow this key step you’re relationship might fall apart while you are quarantined with your boyfriend / girlfriend or after the Coronavirus is over. If you don’t want this to happen you need to learn to communicate and you need to learn HOW to communicate.
It is very important that you don’t make assumptions about how the other person feels and that you keep yourself updated about each other's feelings and moods. Be very open about how you feel and make sure your partner knows he/she can talk about anything at any time when she has to. Avoid sentences such as “This is your fault” or “You’re doing this wrong” or “You don’t listen to me!” and try to be hypersensitive with your choice of words: “I feel very angry right now.” “I would feel way better if I had your full attention.” , “We need to work on this.”
Also, if there is a major argument between each other and you just can’t solve it, you have to accept it. It is okay to argue and it’s okay to not always be on the same page. People deal with things differently, you need to accept your partner's ways of dealing with the self isolation and he/she needs to accept how you deal with it. There is no right or wrong, it’s personal preference.
Establish a routine
Try to create a little schedule to not lose track of time and not feel this sense of total time waste. Get daily routines, work outs, meals, work etc. Spend your days with intent and make each other feel like you have a purpose. Being stuck at home can easily make you feel like you’re not getting anything done or not growing in the direction you want, having routines will make you feel happier about yourself. Additionally, you can set little goals and plans for the upcoming days and weeks to keep yourself inspired. It is important to not spend most of your time on Instagram or napping, find your quarantine purpose!
Take your me-time
Just because you're locked in the same house together it doesn’t mean that you have to actually spend time together 24/7. It is okay to need some time away from someone you love to get mindfulness and only focus on yourself. Personal space, especially in the panic of covid 19, is not only fine, it is required.
Taking some me-time will give you more general happiness and also will give your whole relationship more quality, especially when both of you take that time “off”.
If you want to feel good around your partner you have to take a step back some times and communicate that you will do something for yourself now. You can say that in a very loving way. Make it about you and your needs and your partner will understand.
Share some intimacy
Get close, snuggle up and cuddle. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy is really important in a relationship and I guess ever since we got struck by the coronavirus we started appreciating our loved ones way more. So let’s get intimate.
While every person needs a different amount of love and touch it is a fact that we all need intimacy. Some people prefer intimacy through sexual acts others love emotional intimacy as well. Take your relationship in times of a global epidemic to a next level. Get experimental and try new things, vocalize your needs: are you a person that needs a lot of physical intimacy? Your partner loves you, don’t be scared to open up in front of them.
Get your quality time
Don’t forget to take quality time.
We all know these days. One might be on the laptop or on the Xbox and the other one might be hanging on the smartphone all day, while the day eventually comes to an end you realize that you and your partner barely spoke, that’s natural and normal but don’t make it a habit. Especially with covid 19 we feel very pressured to check our phone the whole time for news or entertainment. Give yourself a break and plan a whole 24 hours without any devices.
Spend time consciously together, without the smartphone and just enjoy each other’s company. Make a hot drink, get some nice tunes going and just be in the now. Remember you guys chose to live together!
Do fun things together
Stop thinking about the coronavirus for a bit and try to have some fun! It’s time for date night. Give you guys some time off, set a date. Get the popcorn going and make a movie night. Or get the board games out, get the dust of the guitar you haven’t used for weeks and take a couple of books you always wanted to read. Maybe read each other some chapters out loud or even start writing a diary together.
You might insist now that you have done all of the fun things with your partner already that can be done in the house, but maybe that’s the time for you to get a bit creative. Being in quarantine or self isolation for a month can be pretty intense and frustrating and sometimes even make you feel like you’re going crazy, but maybe you should just embrace that crazy side of you.
You could turn the music up and let the whole neighbor hit zone into your beats. Get the classics! And then just dance and sing as loud as you can. Go wild. Take your spouse on your imaginary dance floor and just let go! This can be fun, shake you out of the frustration of everyday life in self isolation and also connect you and your relationship partner on a different vibrational level.
Create and get creative together
Being stuck at home limits your freedom, but when our freedom is limited we become more efficient, work harder and get more creative. If there is nothing to do and you’re bored at home, you are more or less forced to think about ways to entertain yourself. Creating art, or doing something you're passionate about is here the way to go!
Create music together, start a podcast together, think about a business for both of you, draw something funny together or just do a puzzle together. The act of creating and finishing a project with your partner will decrease your frustration. Even small tasks that you guys finished hand in hand will create more satisfaction with your current situation in lock down and with your relationship.
Use this a chance to work on yourself
Do you find yourself getting more annoyed lately? Is your partner getting on your nerves more and you feel a little bit too close all of a sudden? That’s totally fine and natural. Remember: This lock down is a very challenging time for your mind.
However, usually feelings don’t appear out of nowhere, they were actually already there, but now they are heightened. So when you realize you’re getting more angry at your partner, try to find the problem within yourself and not in your spouse. The way we see our partner is the mirror to our soul. It is more about us than it is about them. What we feel, comes from us. What they feel, comes from them.
So if I get more angry at my partner for little things maybe I am discovering an anger issue I might have. Or if your partner gets mad at you for skyping with your best friend they might have a jealousy problem.
This is very important so let me say it again: The way we see our partner is the mirror to our soul. What we feel, comes from us. What they feel, comes from them. So use these “Corona times” in which your flaws might come out stronger, because your tolerance rate might be lower, to reflect yourself and work on yourself.
Separate work from free time
You guys need to designate certain areas in the house for your office and you need to give each other the space to work on some things while you thrive through the time in covid-19 lockdown. Of course physical intimacy is great, but when you’re working you’re working.
If your girlfriend is sitting on your lap it’s hard to focus on writing a block about the coronavirus for example. If your flat is very small get your “work corner”. You need that personal space to focus on your work.
However, you also need to make sure that you don’t spend all your time working. Your partner might want to talk about things or needs some love and you need some time to wind yourself down as well. It’s always great to use every opportunity to hustle even harder, but to work more efficiently it is necessary to get some free time to “recharge” your batteries and spend time with your boo. Some of us always feel the need to be productive, but it’s important to accept that free time is high value as well. So do your work and then stop. Turn off all your work devices and just chill the f*** out.
Be grateful and loving
Some days I wake up and I naturally feel super grateful for my boyfriend. I look at him and I am just super happy to have him and be by his side. However, some days I wake up with a bad mood already, the weather is pretty shit, it’s cold, I can’t get out of bed, can’t get anything done and I take my boyfriend for granted. I get more moody with him and take everything personal. Just. Because. I. Am. Having. A. Bad. Day. That’s not fair at all.
So this is where I need to take a few steps back and get my me time. I need to find the actual source of my problems and take it by its tail. I need to localize what is actually bothering me from within and then need to find my way back to my gratitude and kindness.
For me the way to achieve that is specifically through meditating by myself. At the beginning I am quite clueless what the matter is, but after meditating for a few minutes I often find a way deeper meaning of what’s bothering me. After I localized my problem, I will try to let it go. Then I try to find self love and inner peace. And last but not least I embrace all the gratitude I have for my partner and vocalize my love for him. Be grateful for having someone by your side in times like this.
See this as a good thing
There was probably a time when you and your partner were so busy with life that you barely got to see each other and you would have probably begged to be completely isolated with them. Well there you go. This is your time to do many things with your partner that you couldn’t do in your hectic everyday life like cooking or working out. Try to make the most of this time in self isolation and enjoy each other's company. And maybe in a few months when all this is over you might even look back and miss back those “good old times in self isolation” where you had your spouse all day all for yourself. Appreciate having your partner by your side in these tough times and see it as a chance.
In times like this we have to be strong together.
Try to be more helpful. If your wife is super busy with the kids, do the grocery shopping.
Try to be more understanding. If she’s having an anxiety attack, be loving and kind.
Try to be more supportive. If you don't like that he spent a lot of time watching videos, keep your mouth shut and just give him a hug.
Try to be more emphatic. If your husband is feeling down, don't push them further. Be with them, take care of them until they feel better.
If nothing of this helped:
Maybe it’s not the right one
There was a time when you and your partner were so in love that you thought you could spend the rest of your life with them. Everything was great and exciting. But after this few months of butterflies are over, you will get to know each other better and you will see more and more flaws and weaknesses in one another. If this whole Corona virus thing and being self isolated with your partner makes you go insane and you feel completely stressed out maybe this is your wake up call to realize that you are just not meant for each other.
Be conscious of that and think about ways to deal with this new realization. In the worst case scenario: Move to your best friends house or sleep in a different room to get your sanity back. Always remember as sad as a break up is it is better to let go of something that has become unhealthy than remain in a position that makes you go crazy and waste some great years of your life. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship just because of a global epidemic.
This is a time full of fear and uncertainty.
It's the time to be there for our loved ones and stop fighting for a minute.
If we want to make it through the worst, we have to do it while holding each other's hands. Treat each other with kindness.
We are all one.
Spread love, kindness and support. ️
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