Updated: Sep 10, 2019
This is me | A short film (2018)
This was my first video on YouTube and believe me, I was so excited and scared at the same time.
At this time I was living in Arta which is on an island in Spain called Palma de Mallorca working on a farm every day between 5-8 hours to get free accommodation in return. I know it sounds like hella fun but if you spent your days weeding and farming in the sun while having 30 + degrees you will get pissed off quite quickly.
Simultaneously, I created a new Instagram account that was supposed to only focus on modelling, acting, dancing and writing rather than posting a bunch of random photos without a purpose. So I changed the name from Kathiie_tvd (Inspired by the vampire diaries, ugh god damn fan times) to German_model_with_flaws to Kathyinframe.
This was it. Kathy in frame.
Even though I usually rather fell out of the frame of most of the mainstream hypes and social ideals than actually fitting in. However, it kinda worked for me. It felt right. After ages of thinking about a very artsy name that would make me stand out I decided to keep it simple.
And it sounded like a catchy name that people could remember.
It sounded like - Me.
Therefore I decided to go hard ( and not even thinking about going home), because just changing the name would obviously not be enough.
So I spent between 4 - 8 hours every day on Instagram to get more Instagram engagement and so called ‘organic growth’. I spent hours liking and liking and… well uhm - liking.
Until Instagram considered me as a bot and blocked me for the next 24 hours for. Well, when even Instagram itself thinks I work as hard as a robot I should definitely be proud of myself. #HUSTLERS
Apart from being an annoying spammer, I tried to generate good content, write meaningful captions and keep people updated with my Instagram stories.
Hoping that at some point a model agency or model scout would ‘notice’ me and would help me succeed easier and quicker.
I am not gonna lie:
It was draining and debilitating and depressing.
Spending the days getting roasted in the sun and the nights scrolling through hundreds of idealised Instagram profiles, while my ex boyfriend already fell asleep hours ago, looking at photoshopped women that gave me the feeling that I could never ever be ‘good enough.’
What. A. World.
However, it was worth it. Slowly but surely my Instagram feed was getting more and more attention, I started to grow an actual real audience between all the ghost followers.
People that actually read my captions and support my work. I realized that I could have an impact on people.
Therefore, I decided to take another step forward and finally try YouTube, which was something I always kinda dreamed of but also feared a lot.
One of the biggest platforms in the Internet, used by a small little fish like me.
So obviously I was really nervous about releasing a video on a website like YouTube and I started to overthink everything quite a lot and wondered:
What is going to happen after I uploaded the video?
Will there be loads of negative comments, a lot of dislikes, a shit storm?
Or will it be even worse and no one will even look at the video and it will end up having only one click which happened to occur by me clicking on my own video?
But as a daydreamer (a.k.a Pisces) I also already fantasized about becoming "famous overnight" and reaching the millions of clicks while I was sleeping peacefully.
Well... a girl can dream, right?
In my first 12 hours I reached about to 30 people who probably watched only the first 20 seconds of the video. Therefore, I started to spam basically every person I knew ( Or once knew, or friend's friends that knew each other once - and probably wondered why I still had their phone number) and every single social media group with my video link.
So I more or less sent it to people that had no interest in clicking on my new YouTube video and wondered who the fuck I was.
Even got warnings for not reading the group rules. Ups.
In my first weak I reached maybe a couple of hundred people and that was basically it.
No new modelling opportunities, no-famous-over-night events, no scouting by a Hollywood filmmaker.
Everything kinda just remained the same.
Now after a year and one month of releasing the video it video has 1.545 clicks, which is not a million but also not nothing.
And my Instagram account that I started a year and 4 months ago is about to reach 4k followers, which is also not the big deal yet but also not nothing.
About the shortfilm:
The video was supposed to just be a model tape for agencies but I didn’t want to be ‘just another model’ because that’s not me. I always only did modelling because I wanted to get into acting.
So I decided to use the model parts and combine them with the Kathy parts to spread the message of IMPERFECT and good enough and worthy and that refers to every human being in the world, because we all have flaws and imperfections that make us unique no matter if we work as a model, receptionist, exotic dancer or cleaner.
This was the message I tried to spread, even though my English was not at its best but I guess that even emphasized the message even more.
Well and I think it was pretty brave to shave my head and become a bald girl.
My boyfriend at that time was not a filmmaker and neither had the perfect camera gear to become one, but we somehow managed to create this little film with our Xiaomi 4K action cam and the free editing program iMovie.
So yeah everything was extremely semi professional.
To be honest I do feel a little bit embarrassed when I watch the video nowadays because my German accent was for real - pretty bad
But that's fine. Life is a learning curve and I definitely learned a lot in the last year, especially how to sound like a German, British-, American- and Kiwi English speaker at the same time. (Believe me, my accent is all over the place)
And as Peter Brown, a very generous man who gave me a home when I was kinda homeless and sick and poor, once said to me: My "Overnight-success took me 20 years".
And so right he was.
This YouTube video was not the overnight success , but it was a beginning of something new. It opened new doors for me.
Of course I was a little disappointed at first because we always want big things to happen to us without putting much effort in it. We want our dreams to come knocking at our door, not the pay bills.
But this is not how life works.
Life requires effort, if you want to make the most of it.
I feel a bit like I am Hannah Montana and Miley Stewart at the same time.
In one second I am the main actor in a short film and get coffee handed to me when I am having a break, the next second I am sweating my butt off while cleaning toilets and kitchens.
Here I am.
I still struggle a lot, I still need to see how to pay my bills and my current job is basically being a cleaner.
BUT ALSO: HERE I AM.
A German actress that did modelling in Spain, Bali and New Zealand, currently living in New Zealand, getting English speaking acting roles, doing modelling, having the first catwalks, hair shows et cetera.
In a long term view things are going really great and if I had known a year ago that these will be my year 2019 I probably would have celebrated for weeks and that is something I need to remember myself over and over again when my everyday life is not like a Hollywood movie.
I just need to remind myself over and over again:
I came from nothing but a dream to where I am at now.
That is ... not too bad, right?
I still have so many years yet to come and if next year will be as unexpectedly successful as this year, well then Peter I guess my overnight success will only take 10 years. ( btw this is year 4 )
And I will appreciate it so much more because I will never forget how hard I fought for this
Success is like the Snowball Effect
This video right there, was the reason why the German filmmaker Jens Lopez decided to work with me for free to create my first acting tape, which can be found on YouTube under "Voices | Shortfilm - Kathyinframe" and my model tape which can be found YouTube under "Split - Kathyinframe".
And these videos helped me to get model jobs in Bali and first English speaking acting roles in New Zealand. And these acting opportunities, gave me new contacts and will create footage for my first English speaking acting showreel. And this showreel will increase my opportunities to get even more and even better acting roles.
So step by step I will make my way up.
Baby steps first.
My career is like a snowball: It will start with a little ball and it will become an unbreakable avalanche.
As long as I keep going and keep trying.
Thank you, to all people that motivated be and still motivate me to go and live my dreams.
And to all those people that laughed at me or told me that I can't do it, and YES this also includes you Mum, well ..
"A short film called This is me. I am a German model and actress and was doing a model video for agencies, but I felt horrible when the video was finished. I did not want to apply as the woman that claims to be perfect, when actually no one is perfect. I mean who is? No one. So I asked myself what do you want to achieve and if there is one thing I do not want to achieve it is trigger someone with a fake reality. So here it is my not-so-perfect model video. I hope you like my first video on YouTube. I am happy for the support I can get. If there is anything resting on your heart, just leave a comment. A short film called this is me. Love Kathy — singer, dancer, actress, writer and model. " 17/08/2018, Kathyinframe, YouTube
"At least it is self made and with all my heart.
Therefore, I would be grateful for any support I can get: a view, a comment or a like whatever.
I am thankful for almost everything at the moment as this is my officially first time on YouTube. Arrrhg.
I hope you will enjoy it. It is indeed full of love. ♥️ " 17/08/2018, Kathyinframe, Instagram
Short film in collaboration with Julian Kast.
Edited with iMovie ( Apple macOS and iOS )
Camera: Xiaomi Mijia Mini 4K Action Camera (Black)
Music: Fourteen steps to Hell — Too many drugs - Beautiful — AShamaluev Music
Location: Langenfeld, Nordrhein- Westfalen, Germany
A blog written by Kathy Peters
Let me know what you guys think in the comment section and spread some love by clicking on the little heart on the right bottom side. ♥️
A blog written by Kathy Peters